Jetsons REUNITE.

Hello.

My first day consisted of being inducted for 10 minutes, then thrown into a team of 40 and reviewed interoffice memorandums from global entities. It also included discovering the most amazing cafeteria at the client. Beegeebees. Have you watched the Jetsons? Well this IS Jetsons FER reals. You pick up a tray, walk around and collect food, eat your food, put your tray onto this table, and the barcodes on all your little plates, and bowls somehow gets picked up by the scanner, which is displayed on the screen in front of you - how much you have eaten, your calories and how much it'd cost you, then you swipe a card, and BAM. YOU'RE FED. The food here is sex, I'm going to come home a fatso. Well, maybe biggest loser half way. HA!

Ok less talk more pictures..

This is en route to the subway. These trees are very good looking trees.

This is my pad. Bit of cardboard on the side of the subway. You know.. that's how I roll.

Went here over the weekend. 

Crazy Nakimise shopping street. Sht gets real in this street. Remember me telling you abt red bean cakes. Oh yeahhhh. I ate them like a little fat kid. 

The side of the Asakusajinja shrine. 

Tanman, this photo is for you. I followed this grandma. 

To find CHOCOLATE BANANAS!!! Teehee. I LOVE BANANAS!

Lies. Thankyou grandma for showing me this!! 

I also wanted to share this view with you. Want to know how I found it. I copied the locals. 

Asian camera pose. BAM! 

I live quite close to Ginza. They close off the street on weekends and put cute little umbrellas and set up benches in the middle of the street. I did it like a local. 

Till next update, I will leave you with the following photo. 

Yeah I know right. Where do these people come from. This isn't even peak hour. I would lift my feet off the ground, and be wedged between two business suited men, and next thing, I'd be brought to the end of the subway tunnel. That's how I travel to work. How do you do it?

Hope you're all fine and dandy. Love me please xx

Confucious Say..

[ Tara Emad by Andrew Hobbs for Harper’s Bazaar Arabia April 2011_ LuisVuitton ]

Conversation with egg and I.

E: What flavour chips did you get?
J: Original dude.
E: BORING !
E: I don't eat that flavour...it's so plain
J: The best things are best savoured in its purest form
J: Don't underestimate orginality
J: Without orginality, life will be boring
J: I rather my chips be boring than life
J: BAM!
J: I should be confucious
E: HAHAHA, amazing.

Damn right. Hail to original chips.

Delicious.

x

she's back!

[ Pull & Bear Spring 2011 Campaign by Txema Yeste ]

So the other day.. it went down like THIS..

It featured Egg the Manager, G the Director, and Kel the Senior manager.

Egg, G and Kel were talking at my desk.
Egg was speaking to me, but they ended up talking to each other, so I sat down and continued with my work. Hid my head in my pooter and tap tap tapped away. http://www.typingtest.com/ Try it. It redonkulously makes you look like you're doing work. WIN.

Anywho..
Egg was talking to G about a job,- she was trying to reorganise her portfolio and Kels said 'Don't do it, you're a woman, its a man' job..'

So then I knew it was my cue, jumped up, and yelled, 'But EGG's got BALLS!'

I chortled, but the rest were in shock. I died. Please don't fire me.

But hey, I'm back!

Now I'm back on my couch watching Juno for the millionith time. Up to the bit where Junbug's dad wanted to punch bleeks in the weiner. HAHA! Come join me on the couch, i'll make hot cocoa and you may have ONE marshmellow. Just one! Don't be greedy, you already have me on the couch next to you. BAM!

xx Love me pls.

you no english son?

This is how it went down..

Asian lady: YOU FAST

Asian lady: NO COFFEE!

Asian lady: NO TEA!

Asian lady: YOU SURE!

Asian lady:  OK SIGN!

Asian lady:  SIGN AGAIN

Asian lady:  NOW SIGN

Asian lady:  MEDICARE!

Ads: ok..please dont hurt me...i just want to have a blood test

Ads: not to eat your children

[ Liu Wen by Miles Aldridge for Vogue Italia February 2011 ]

ha! to asian ladies.

x

big heads and little seats.

Had a client clearance meeting today and after all the serious matters discussed, we were reflecting on the shooting that killed a retiring security guard. The finance director mentioned that his brother was training up to be a copper and they were taught to shoot the largest surface area, usually the torso, if ever in need. The client then went on to say "unless they had a really big head". I laughed out LOUD, BAHA only to be given the 'behave now' eye of death by my team. No one else found it funny. :(

I'm sorry for laughing. I wasn't laughing at the situation. Just the big head part. It's funny right. Right?!

On a side note, went to watch a movie today. The seats were particularly small today.

Luckily it was dark, so it could conceal the pain in trying to squeeze into them seats. If those seats were made out of paper, I would have destroyed the place.

 [ Escada Fall 2010 Campaign _ Milla Jovovich by Peter Lindbergh ]

No I'm not fat. Don't judge me. x

It all goes back to the cheeseburgerrr. Period.

Conversation I had with my dear friend! Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Save the world. Save the cheerleader.

*: It's so cold in my room when I breathe there's steam. In. my. room. Unbelieveable.

J: That's very cold!! Wear an extra pair of undies, it works.

J: I just had an image.. you were Harry Potter, and the dementors were coming!!

*: Hahaha. That would make my Saturday so much more interesting. I'll be fighting them in my PJ's then I'll be outnumbered and then you can rescue me with your 'Patronus'.

J: But you're Harry, and you have the stronger Patronus. I can be Ron and throw my rat at them and knock them over!

*: But I'm still drunk, so my Patronus might come out as 'Penis' instead. Red heads are awesome. I like redheads.

J: Hahaha. Hilarious. I think the word penis is hilarious. PENIS. Ronald McDonald is a red head. He's also called Ron. He has a friend who's called Grim-ace. Like.. THE GRIM (Harry's tea reading). But he's an eggplant. Whoa duuuuude, spin out. Harry Potter ripped of Maccas.


...

Was on my way home, and was hungry, so drove by maccas and bought a cheeseburger. Cheeseburger fogged up my car windows.... penis!

My life is pretty average.

Do you have $2?

This morning, I saw an older lady walk towards me. I moved my gear so she could sit next to me. She had a walking stick and was wrapped in a traditional silk sari-like robe. She smelt like old people and spices. .
She smiled. I smiled. Old lady thinks I'm a good person. Melted peanut butter and butter Spongebob shaped toast guilt factor - nil, Feel good factor - one.
Old lady keeps the smile. I keep the smile. Awkward.
Old lady asks "Do you have $2?" Smile intact.
What the douse?!
I gave her $1.50.
Old lady turns around, "Do you have $1?"
I felt rorted.

[stockholmstreetstyle.com]

Fishies. I did it for you.

Visited shoe mender to get heels recapped.
Usually does it for me in 3 minutes, but had to wait an hour.
Swung by library to get a heads start on some work, while waiting on heels.
Man approaches me.
Man: " Do I know you?"
Me: "Uhh.. I don't think so"
Man: "You look familiar"
Me: (f@ck you! Saying I look common, biatch)
Man: "Do you go to Hillsong"
Me: "No"
Man: "Are you sure I don't know you"
Me: "Uhh.. I'm quite sure I don't know you."
Man: (Walks away)
Man: (Returns)
Man: "This may sound silly, but can I ask if you want to go for a coffee or a drink?"
Me: "Oh! No, I'm alright thankyou"

He looked like a stranger, and momma taught me to not talk to strangers.

Truth was. I was scared he was going to steal my iphone, which had my fav app TapFish, and then my fishes would die because he woudlnt know when to feed them.

Word.

e-mail

Thought I'd share this moment with you. I sent this email to my senior, because he is the raddest.

"Hi Bob*

Last friday, Carol* (director) and I.. we were appreciating how awesome your brain was when you had them radical insights.
I said I agreed, and she said you were a real asset, and I said, like.. on the balance sheet.
Then there was an awkward moment.
Then I looked into her eyes and whispered I loved her.
Then it was weird.

I lied.
But she really did say that you were awesome, and a real asset. I made the rest up, because nope, im really not that cool.

keep it up BOB*CHAPMANIARIATIA. "


* Names have been changed to protect the people and to ...save the world, save the cheerleader.

Dookie Breath

I had a conversation with my mate the other day about the scents people give off after they consume certain beverages. One intersting piece was coffee and dookie breath. I didn't believe them.

This morning I was on the train and I sat next to this lovely looking lady, she had a coffee in her hand. I shoved a dozen mints in my mouth and started to breathe heavily. Minty freshness overcomes neighbouring ladies scent.

Dookie breath indeed.